bring me your huddled masses

New dads, I have heard your pleas. I know the depths of your pain and am here to offer you the way out.

These are the things you need to do when you want to get your newborn or toddler to sleep through the night (or just go to bed).

1) Make a routine and stick with it no matter what. This is the hardest, but the most important. Little brains are busy shaving off white matter and gray matter and organizing new connections, its an awesome sequence of enzymes and catalysts. What does this have to do with you? You can develop a habit or pattern in those young minds by using the same environmental cues at the same time each day. Give the baby a bath, turn the lights down, read to him or her (no t.v.) in the baby's room. As much as you can, recreate the same scene every night. This is difficult for new parents who may still be used to the 'stay up till whenever thing'. Those days are gone. You traded them in for your bundle of joy.

2) Put the thermostat down and slowly back away. Most of the parents I speak with about this react like I just deleted their TiVo. I completely understand the desire to make sure the child is comfortable, especially when you won't be in the room. Understand that most humans will sleep better in a colder environment. It induces the sleep reflex. If your child is flush while sleeping, you may have too much heat for their sleep to be relaxed and uninterrupted. In general, if you have the room temperature below 70 degrees (F) you are in the ballpark.

3) See you in hell! Placing a sleeping baby in a cold bed will not work well for you. Especially when you think you've almost got the baby down. Using a warm towel or flannel sheets to warm that bed up or keep it warm will work wonders for you.

4) Just 10 minutes more, please. Drapes, shutters, black paint, anything but those airline eye patches to keep the room dark. This will buy you time enough time in the morning to get to the coffee pot, thereby saving everyone a rocky start.

4) Fight on! At first, the new routine will be annoying for both of you. Stick with it, over time the pattern will take effect, you will notice your baby getting sleepy as soon as you begin the routine.

5) Act cool. Any mom will have this information because they have already researched it 1000 times. What scores you monster points is then you know this information. Don't tell her I told you, act like you knew it on your own. She will be reassured that she selected you as a mate.

Let me know how it goes, and good luck out there!